Hiroo Yamagata aka. Yoda
Japanese economy is very Very VERY depressed. But you know that already. Firms are going bust, unemployment is soaring, banks are in a rut, our future's a nightmare, and after all these years, we still don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. After the War, we started out from zero, and for a while we thought we had something, but after fifty years, it looks like our Holy nation of Japan has finally come to the end of the line. Oh gods (note: Japan has eight million of them), why have you forsaken us? But we shall not allow our land and women to be disgraced by those barbarious Western investment bankers! If we are to perish, we shall die with dignity as samurai through the old ritual of...
"Umm, your highness, we must say that's rather a premature assessment. Actually, there ARE some obscure plots that should surely revive Japan from this wretched recession. Up till now, we didn't bother to tell you since they ARE rather unusual and you'd never take it seriously. (And as for our women, sheesh, don't you realize what's going on in the streets, "grace" has already become a nonexistent concept among our girls and boys alike, the kids have already become a bunch of spoilt vulgar junk-rated human dud-resources. Even the vulture funds won't touch them. So much for "dis"gracing them, too bad.) Granted, they are variations of the Dark Voodoo conjured up by the old master Hicks, and we have never expected to actually use them during our lifetime, but...."
"Ah, back down, you evil sorcerers. In this time of a national emergency, your appearance is most inappropriate. Know thy position!"
"Wait, my dear Shogun. Plots, you say? And you are...Klook Man (note: Japanese have difficulty with Ls and Rs.) and Yoda? Let us hear you out. Entertain us! If, however, your plots turns out to be hacks, my trusty sword shall gladly soak in your disgraceful blood! Now speak up. Chant us your chant!"
"Very well then, your highness .... But before we start, do you really know what a recession is?"
(continued to the maintext......)